The Honest Guide to Business Networking (it's OK if it gives you the ick)
- Jan 20
- 6 min read
Let’s talk about networking. As a business owner it cannot be escaped. Sooner or later, you’ll find yourself at the dreaded evening mixer. Most of us begin with the romantic notion; community, collaboration, you meet one person and suddenly your business changes forever. Then the crushing reality; the real version most of us have lived.
A room full of people trying to look relaxed while quietly scanning for someone “useful.”A lot of polite nodding.A lot of “So, what do you do?” (AKA what can I sell you…?)And that slightly haunted feeling that you just spent two hours… for one lukewarm conversation and a cheese platter that didn’t deserve the name.
Yes, sometimes networking is genuinely valuable. But a lot of the time? It’s noisy, performative, and built for the loudest person in the room. So what works and what are you really in for when you sign up to that event?
I recently created something a little different, mostly because it was what I was looking for (and not finding). Our first Gather + Glow was hosted at Ruby’s Wine Shop in January. It was everything I hoped it would be: a small group of entrepreneurs, masks off, in a beautiful space, having real conversations about life as an entrepreneur—without the awkward posturing. And with the goal of lifting each other up.
For those trying to figure out how to enter the world of networking without temporary loss of sanity, let’s take an honest look at what else is out there. Read: what I’ve tried, what works, what doesn’t, and what makes Gather + Glow different.
The Chamber of Commerce Circuit
“Advocacy” in theory. Vibes in practice. Not always good ones.
Chambers should be a no-brainer. They exist to support local business—promotion, advocacy, connection, growth. And to be fair: I’ve met some great people through chambers.
But the truth is, it can be hard to find a chamber that feels aligned. That’s my biggest struggle. And you still tend to have each and every event circled by one or two of those ‘sharks’ who give you the immediate ick and lead to many early departures.
I tried it all: evening events, luncheons, coffee meetups, speed networking, mixers—everything in between. And what I kept running into was this:
Advocacy feels thin once you get past the branding
Events that can feel like circling sharks (friendly sharks… sometimes. But still.)
A culture where being visible matters more than being helpful
A lot of energy spent “working the room,” not building relationships
You can smell the fake from a mile away. If you’re someone who networks best through depth, curiosity, and shared values, chambers can start to feel like you’re forcing yourself into a shape that isn’t yours.
When chambers work best: when you find a genuinely values-led group, or when you want broad local visibility and you’re happy to play the long game and swim with the sharks.
When they don’t: when you’re craving actual community and you leave feeling more drained than connected.
BNI (Business Network International)
The structured referral machine (with culty undertones)
BNI is… an experience.
If you’re unfamiliar: BNI (Business Network International) is a structured referral organization. Chapters meet regularly (usually weekly), members represent one profession each, and the core idea is simple: you pass referrals to each other as a form of relationship-based marketing.
And to be clear—BNI has real strengths:
Structure (you always know what’s happening and why + it’s concise)
Consistency (same people, same time, regular contact)
Referral mindset (members actively look for ways to help each other)
Skill-building (speaking, pitching, follow-up, discipline)
If you want a high-accountability environment for lead generation, it can be powerful.
But… (you knew there was a but)
That same structure can also strip the heart out of it. Because the focus becomes:
metrics
reporting
one-to-ones
visitor invites
“gains” and targets
performance-based connection
If you’re someone who networks through warmth, shared conversation, and organic relationship-building, BNI can feel transactional—like connection is only valuable if it converts.
When BNI works best: when you want referrals, you like systems, and you’re willing to treat it like a serious marketing channel.
When it doesn’t: when you’re looking for community, creative collaboration, or relationships that aren’t measured on a spreadsheet.
Business School / Beginner Networking Events
Helpful… if you’re a deer in headlights. These events can be great—especially if you’re brand new and everything feels confusing.
They tend to provide:
starter-level education
a sense of “oh thank god it’s not just me”
low-pressure introductions
basic business confidence
But once you’re past the beginner phase, they start to feel like you’re looping the same content and meeting the same level of conversation. Still valuable, just not always the best use of time.
When they work best: when you’re starting out, rebuilding after a pivot, or you want foundational support.
When they don’t: when you’re craving peer-level connection and deeper strategic conversation.
City / Business Centre Sponsored Functions
Educational, credible… and sometimes a lot of time for little return. These tend to be more structured and content-led: workshops, panels, grants info sessions, industry updates.
They can be genuinely useful, especially when:
you need specific information
you’re learning a new skill
you want to stay close to local resources and opportunities
The challenge is ROI. Often, you’ll spend hours there for minimal connection—because the event isn’t designed for relationship-building, it’s designed for education.
When they work best: when you want knowledge, resources, or formal pathways.
When they don’t: when your goal is meeting aligned people and building ongoing relationships.
Other Types of Business Networking You Might Be Missing
If “traditional networking” isn’t your thing, try these instead:
1) Coworking Community Events: These often attract grounded operators and creatives. Lower pitch energy, higher relationship energy.
2) Industry Associations + Professional Groups: More niche. More relevant conversations. Less random business-card bingo.
3) Masterminds + Salons: Small group. Consistent faces. Real accountability. Often the highest value per hour.
4) Workshops + Short Courses: Not networking events, but you meet people while learning—which instantly gives you shared context.
5) Volunteering, Boards, and Community Projects: This is networking with purpose. You build relationships while doing something that matters.
6) Collaborations (the underrated cheat code): A joint reel. A partner event. A shared giveaway. A guest blog.Working together builds trust faster than small talk ever will.
7) Online Communities with Real Standards: Not the spammy ones. The moderated, values-led ones where people show up consistently and contribute.
So… Why Gather + Glow?
When I built the series, I selfishly built it to fill a need - and the thing I couldn't find. I wanted something that felt like networking for thoughtful founders. It’s built around the idea of a conversation salon and kept deliberately small. The goal is to connect on the challenges and wins we all feel – while keeping the tone positive, growth-oriented and a collective “glow up” among those in the room.
Gather + Glow is different because:
It’s intentionally small (you can’t hide, but you also don’t have to perform)
It’s hosted in a beautiful space that changes your nervous system on arrival
There’s a shared topic, so conversation has depth immediately
It’s built for real business challenges, not polished highlight reels
The goal isn’t to “pitch.” The goal is to connect, reflect, and grow
It’s a collective glow-up—through perspective, support, and genuine conversation. I’m unashamedly in love with the concept and beyond thrilled with how the first one went.
And after our first one at Ruby’s Wine Shop… I can confidently say: it works.
The best part? They’re free and nobody is there to make money – except our incredible host venues, which we encourage you to support. In the case of Ruby’s Wine Shop – easy.
The Next Gather + Glow: February 26
We’re back again on February 26 at Hamptons Avenue, and if you’ve been craving a different kind of networking—this is your sign to come sit at the table. We’ll be talking about collaboration in today’s business world and how to best develop collabs that will benefit everyone.
Bring:
your real questions
your current challenge
your curiosity
your honest self
You’ll leave with new connections, clearer perspective, and that rare feeling of:Oh. I’m not doing this alone. If you want to RSVP, message me, click here or keep an eye on announcements—spots are limited by design. The last one booked out well before.
See you on February 26. Let’s glow up—together. ✨
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